Who do you think is going to be the Bears' biggest competition to win the NFC North?
If by competition you mean "hinderance" I would say the frontrunner is Jerry Angelo followed closely by Lovie Smith. If you mean which team, I'd have to say all of them and none of them. They also are their own worst enemies: If the porn-stachio'd Aaron Rodgers can't cut muster in his first year as a starter, Green Bay will fold like a lawn chair. They were already decimated in the NFC title game and will have a long road back. In Minnesota (who beat Chicago twice last year), they have Purple Jesus, some big-name free agents, and a quarterback who makes Henry Burris look good. In Detroit, two words: Matt Fucking Clueless Millen.
Now that you have seen the Bears draft and their 2008 roster, what positions do you view as being the strongest and weakest in terms of personnel?
Offense and Defensive Coordinator = weak. General management = weak. Coaching = below average. The tight end, defensive end, and cornerback positions are rock solid. In general though the team is weak until further information comes in. Who's going to play safety? Can Urlacher's back hold up? Can Tommie Harris stay healthy and can someone actually start next to him? Who's going to man the o-line this year? Can Matt Forte make it at this level because we all know Drinky McTwo-yards cannot. Who's going to catch the ball and who the hell will be throwing it? My money is on Capt. Neckbeard over the Sex Cannon but I guess we'll see.
Do you think the Bears will go with one of the two undrafted rookies they recently signed as their third quarterback this season or will they try to add a veteran that's cut by another team?
The problem is there are really no good veterans worth adding at #3 even. If they wanted a veteran, they should have signed one early in the offseason and made a 3-way competition heading into camp. No, I believe Caleb Hanie will be the #3 heading into this season.
Cedric Benson was arrested and charged with boating while intoxicated and resisting arrest. What should the Bears do?
The Bears are going to move Drinky McTwo-yards into a houseboat off Lake Michigan. On game days, Benson will have his choice of alcohols before and during the game. Sure playing drunk may have it's disadvantages but apparently the key to getting Benson to "resist" anything (aside from his inability to "resist" falling down) can't be all bad. Who knows, maybe we'll get to see him break a tackle for the first time in his 5 year career.
Showing posts with label Jerry Angelo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jerry Angelo. Show all posts
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Something to Talk About
It started as rumblings but is quicly gaining ground. Cedric "Two yards and a cloud of bust" Benson may not be long in the Windy City. For a guy who should wear a mask and have Maurice Clarett ride shotgun every time he picks up his paycheck, this is long overdue. There are several schools of thought going about so I will try to summarize all of them.
First: Some believe Benson is not responding well to rehab. Should we be surprised that a guy whose work ethic rivals your brother-in-law who "can't find work" is having trouble putting in the hours to bounce back from a leg injury.
Second: Some believe rehab or not Benson is gone. Benson hasn't been able to pickup pass protection for the last 3 years; Forte comes into minicamp and the first thing he says he needs to do to make it to the field is pickup pass protection. The 2nd-string RB on any team has to be able to provide support for special teams. Benson can't block and he can't be a 3-down back (see Adrian Peterson). If Forte is worse than Benson, a step above Peterson, and picks up the pass protection ... Buh-bye Ced, don't let the blue and orange door hit ya in the ass on the way out.
Third: It's a combo of the two and Garret Wolfe. Wolfe was picked in the 3rd round last season and showed some flashes in the regular season as a change-of-pace back. Jerry Angelo isn't going to pull the plug on Wolfe after one year. Forte was drafted to be a feature back. Benson is not responding to rehab and wasn't very good on two healthy legs as it was.
Either way, it should be interesting. Here's to hoping that Forte is the real deal, and Wolfe evolves into a change-of-pace big play threat.
Coach hear our prayer.
First: Some believe Benson is not responding well to rehab. Should we be surprised that a guy whose work ethic rivals your brother-in-law who "can't find work" is having trouble putting in the hours to bounce back from a leg injury.
Second: Some believe rehab or not Benson is gone. Benson hasn't been able to pickup pass protection for the last 3 years; Forte comes into minicamp and the first thing he says he needs to do to make it to the field is pickup pass protection. The 2nd-string RB on any team has to be able to provide support for special teams. Benson can't block and he can't be a 3-down back (see Adrian Peterson). If Forte is worse than Benson, a step above Peterson, and picks up the pass protection ... Buh-bye Ced, don't let the blue and orange door hit ya in the ass on the way out.
Third: It's a combo of the two and Garret Wolfe. Wolfe was picked in the 3rd round last season and showed some flashes in the regular season as a change-of-pace back. Jerry Angelo isn't going to pull the plug on Wolfe after one year. Forte was drafted to be a feature back. Benson is not responding to rehab and wasn't very good on two healthy legs as it was.
Either way, it should be interesting. Here's to hoping that Forte is the real deal, and Wolfe evolves into a change-of-pace big play threat.
Coach hear our prayer.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Draft Bits from Day 1
Keyshawn Johnson compares Matt Ryan replacing Mike Vick to replacing Dan Marino. You know if Dan Marino wasn't a hall of famer with a great record, millions of fans, and not in prison.
From Brad Biggs of Suntimes: "Mike Mayock of NFL Network reports that Vanderbilt
offensive tackle Chris Williams may be off draft boards for some teams because of a
``neck and cervix’’ injury. Williams was a model of durability during his college
career."
OMFGWTFBBQ! That is some fine reporting. Apparently we learned that WIlliams is not
only injured but he's also a bit of a pussy. A "cervix" injury? You may want to
check your sources. (Biggs did update his blog and thanked me for pointing out his misprint)
Chris Williams and his "cervix" will come to Chicago as Jerry Angelo did exactly what I predicted he would do: draft safe in the first round and then reach for a running back in round 2. In Brad Biggs's continuously updating blog, I hit it right on the head. Angelo continues to lead us down the path of mediocrity.
For those who want to question my moves: I would have selected Rashard Mendenhall with the 14th overall pick. Anthony Collins and Carl Nicks are still on the board as we head into Day 2 and either could have filled our need at tackle.
From Brad Biggs of Suntimes: "Mike Mayock of NFL Network reports that Vanderbilt
offensive tackle Chris Williams may be off draft boards for some teams because of a
``neck and cervix’’ injury. Williams was a model of durability during his college
career."
OMFGWTFBBQ! That is some fine reporting. Apparently we learned that WIlliams is not
only injured but he's also a bit of a pussy. A "cervix" injury? You may want to
check your sources. (Biggs did update his blog and thanked me for pointing out his misprint)
Chris Williams and his "cervix" will come to Chicago as Jerry Angelo did exactly what I predicted he would do: draft safe in the first round and then reach for a running back in round 2. In Brad Biggs's continuously updating blog, I hit it right on the head. Angelo continues to lead us down the path of mediocrity.
For those who want to question my moves: I would have selected Rashard Mendenhall with the 14th overall pick. Anthony Collins and Carl Nicks are still on the board as we head into Day 2 and either could have filled our need at tackle.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Draft Scenarios: Moving Back
With Jerry Angelo's track record, there is always the chance Chicago could move back in the draft if no one they have targeted is at #14 or if they have targeted someone(s) that could be available later in the round. Here are the best possible scenarios for moving back:
Philly moves up to #14 sending Chicago their 19th and 80th picks.
Washington moves up to #14 sending Chicago their 21st, 84th, and 96th picks.
Dallas moves up to #14 sending Chicago their 22nd, 61st, and 163rd picks.
Dallas (part 2) moves up to #14 sending Chicago their 28th, 61st, and 92nd pick.
Tennessee moves up to #14 sending Chicago their 24th and 54th picks.
And the least likely scenario ... San Francisco moving up sending Chicago their 29th and 39th picks for Chicago's 14th, 142nd, and 175th picks.
Just some scenarios to ponder heading into tomorrow.
Philly moves up to #14 sending Chicago their 19th and 80th picks.
Washington moves up to #14 sending Chicago their 21st, 84th, and 96th picks.
Dallas moves up to #14 sending Chicago their 22nd, 61st, and 163rd picks.
Dallas (part 2) moves up to #14 sending Chicago their 28th, 61st, and 92nd pick.
Tennessee moves up to #14 sending Chicago their 24th and 54th picks.
And the least likely scenario ... San Francisco moving up sending Chicago their 29th and 39th picks for Chicago's 14th, 142nd, and 175th picks.
Just some scenarios to ponder heading into tomorrow.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Quick Slants
Chicago Sun Times reported that Brian Urlacher was in attendance to accept the Chicago Bear's Brian Picolo award. What the article failed to mention is that Urlacher actually shoved his hand up Jay Glazer's ass and had him give the acceptance speech.
Chicago is meeting at the last minute with Michigan State product Devin Thomas as a possibility at #14 overall. Matt Millen seen pointing, laughing while wearing his Charles Rodgers jersey.
Jerry Angelo told reports recently that he wants to get "at least three" starters out of Chicago's first 4 picks in the draft. The only thing standing in his way is instinct, talent evaluation, track record, and general management savvy. This guy coulcn't find three starters on a fucking menu at Applebee's.
With vountary workouts rolling around, the "no-fucking-shit" news is that Brian Urlacher has chosen to sun himself in Arizona rather than attend. This comes as no suprise as Urlacher has been vocal about his desire for a new contract. However, Lance Briggs who just got his new contract has been away. By skipping these voluntary sessions Briggs has already missed out on a $250,000 workout bonus. Another brilliant business move I am sure. Briggs defended his decision by saying he was attending to "family business" and some things were more important than money. Whether that business was attending to or fathering more illegitimate children Briggs did not specify.
Chicago is meeting at the last minute with Michigan State product Devin Thomas as a possibility at #14 overall. Matt Millen seen pointing, laughing while wearing his Charles Rodgers jersey.
Jerry Angelo told reports recently that he wants to get "at least three" starters out of Chicago's first 4 picks in the draft. The only thing standing in his way is instinct, talent evaluation, track record, and general management savvy. This guy coulcn't find three starters on a fucking menu at Applebee's.
With vountary workouts rolling around, the "no-fucking-shit" news is that Brian Urlacher has chosen to sun himself in Arizona rather than attend. This comes as no suprise as Urlacher has been vocal about his desire for a new contract. However, Lance Briggs who just got his new contract has been away. By skipping these voluntary sessions Briggs has already missed out on a $250,000 workout bonus. Another brilliant business move I am sure. Briggs defended his decision by saying he was attending to "family business" and some things were more important than money. Whether that business was attending to or fathering more illegitimate children Briggs did not specify.
Friday, April 4, 2008
Bill Parcells Teaches Turner and Babich about ABC
(Cubby Bear meetng room, coordinators and assistant coaches milling about when Bill Parcells enters with Lovie Smith)
Bill Parcells: Let me have your attention for a moment. 'Cause you're talkin' about what...you're talkin' 'bout...bitchin' about that season you just shot, some son of a bitch don't want to run hard in practice, somebody don't want what you're selling, some broad you're trying to screw, so forth, let's talk about something important. Are they all here?
Lovie: All but Toub.
Parcells: Well, I'm going anyway. Let's talk about something important.
(sees Turner pouring coffee)
Parcells: Put that coffee down. Coffee's for coaches only. You think I'm fuckin' with you? I am not fuckin' with you. I'm here from Halas hall. I'm here from Ted and Jerry. And I'm here on a mission of mercy. Your name's Ron?
Turner: Yeah.
Parcells: You call yourself a coach, you son of a bitch.
Babich: I don't gotta listen to this shit.
Parcells: You certainly don't pal 'cause the good news is you're fired. The bad news is you got all you got, just one season to regain your job, starting with this season, starting with tonight's meeting. Oh, have I got your attention now? Good. 'Cause we're adding a little something to this years bonuses. As you all know, first prize is the Lombardi Trophy. Anybody want to see second prize? Second prize is a pat on the back for making it back to the Super Bowl you lost in 2006. Third prize is your fired. You get the picture? You laughing now? You got players. Ted and Jerry paid good money. Get their asses to work and put this team together. You can't coach the players you're given, you can't coach shit, you are shit, hit the bricks pal and beat it 'cause you are going out.
Turner: The players are weak.
Parcells: The players are weak. The fuckin' players are weak? You're weak. I've been in coaching 30 years ...
Babich: What's your name?
Parcells: Fuck you, that's my name. You know why mister? Cause you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight, I drove a fucking Escalade. That's my name.
(To Turner)
Parcells: And your name is you're wanting. You can't play in the man's game, you can't coach them? Then go home and tell your wife your troubles. Because only one thing counts in this life. Get them to play in that game in February. You hear me you fuckin' faggots.
(Points to the dry erase board)
Parcells: ABC. A, Always, B, Be, C, Coaching. Always be coaching. Always be coaching. AIDA. Attention. Interest. Decision. Action. Attention. Do I have your attention? Interest. Are you interested? I know you are 'cause it's fuck or walk. You coach or you hit the bricks. Decision. Have you made your decision for Crisakes? And action. AIDA. Get out there. You got the prospects coming in, you think they came in to get out of the rain? A guy don't walk in here unless he wants to play fucking football. They're sitting out there waiting to give you their all. Are you going to take it? Are you man enough to take it?
(To Babich)
Parcells: What's the problem, pal?
Babich: You, boss, you're such a hero, you're so great, how come you're coming down here and wasting your time with such a bunch of bums?
Parcells: You see this ring? You see this Super Bowl ring?
Babich: Yeah.
Parcells: That ring costs more than your life. I've made 2 trips to the Super Bowl, how many you make? You see pal, that's who I am, and you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good father. Fuck you, go home and play with your kids. You want to work here, coach. You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cock-sucker. You can't take this, how can you take the abuse you get on a daily basis from Chicago media. If you don't like it, leave. I can go out there tonight, the materials you got, make myself a playoff contender. Tonight. In two hours.
(looking at Turner)
Parcells: Can you?
(looking at Babich)
Parcells: Can you?
Parcells: Go and do likewise. Always Be Coaching. Get mad you son-of-a-bitch. Get mad. You know what it takes to coach in the NFL?
(whips out his frank and beans)
Parcells: It takes brass balls to coach in the NFL. Go and do likewise, gents. The Lombardi Trophy is out there, you pick it up, it's yours, you don't, I got no sympathy for you. You want to go out tonight and figure out how to coach, coach, it's yours, if not, you're going to be shining my shoes. And you know what you'll be saying. Bunch of losers sitting around in a bar: ''Oh yeah, I used to be a coach. It's a tough racket.''
(makes drinking gesture with his empty hands ... then pulls out a stack of index cards)
Parcells: These are the new draft prospects. These are the 2008 NFL draft prospects. And to you, they're gold. And you don't get them. Why? Because to give them to you is just throwing them away. They're for coaches. I'd wish you good luck, but you wouldn't know what to do with it if you got it.
(To Babich)
Parcells: And to answer your question, pal: Why am I here? I came here because Ted and Jerry asked me to, they asked me for a favor. I said the real favor, follow my advice and fire your fuckin' ass because a loser is a loser.
Bill Parcells: Let me have your attention for a moment. 'Cause you're talkin' about what...you're talkin' 'bout...bitchin' about that season you just shot, some son of a bitch don't want to run hard in practice, somebody don't want what you're selling, some broad you're trying to screw, so forth, let's talk about something important. Are they all here?
Lovie: All but Toub.
Parcells: Well, I'm going anyway. Let's talk about something important.
(sees Turner pouring coffee)
Parcells: Put that coffee down. Coffee's for coaches only. You think I'm fuckin' with you? I am not fuckin' with you. I'm here from Halas hall. I'm here from Ted and Jerry. And I'm here on a mission of mercy. Your name's Ron?
Turner: Yeah.
Parcells: You call yourself a coach, you son of a bitch.
Babich: I don't gotta listen to this shit.
Parcells: You certainly don't pal 'cause the good news is you're fired. The bad news is you got all you got, just one season to regain your job, starting with this season, starting with tonight's meeting. Oh, have I got your attention now? Good. 'Cause we're adding a little something to this years bonuses. As you all know, first prize is the Lombardi Trophy. Anybody want to see second prize? Second prize is a pat on the back for making it back to the Super Bowl you lost in 2006. Third prize is your fired. You get the picture? You laughing now? You got players. Ted and Jerry paid good money. Get their asses to work and put this team together. You can't coach the players you're given, you can't coach shit, you are shit, hit the bricks pal and beat it 'cause you are going out.
Turner: The players are weak.
Parcells: The players are weak. The fuckin' players are weak? You're weak. I've been in coaching 30 years ...
Babich: What's your name?
Parcells: Fuck you, that's my name. You know why mister? Cause you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight, I drove a fucking Escalade. That's my name.
(To Turner)
Parcells: And your name is you're wanting. You can't play in the man's game, you can't coach them? Then go home and tell your wife your troubles. Because only one thing counts in this life. Get them to play in that game in February. You hear me you fuckin' faggots.
(Points to the dry erase board)
Parcells: ABC. A, Always, B, Be, C, Coaching. Always be coaching. Always be coaching. AIDA. Attention. Interest. Decision. Action. Attention. Do I have your attention? Interest. Are you interested? I know you are 'cause it's fuck or walk. You coach or you hit the bricks. Decision. Have you made your decision for Crisakes? And action. AIDA. Get out there. You got the prospects coming in, you think they came in to get out of the rain? A guy don't walk in here unless he wants to play fucking football. They're sitting out there waiting to give you their all. Are you going to take it? Are you man enough to take it?
(To Babich)
Parcells: What's the problem, pal?
Babich: You, boss, you're such a hero, you're so great, how come you're coming down here and wasting your time with such a bunch of bums?
Parcells: You see this ring? You see this Super Bowl ring?
Babich: Yeah.
Parcells: That ring costs more than your life. I've made 2 trips to the Super Bowl, how many you make? You see pal, that's who I am, and you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good father. Fuck you, go home and play with your kids. You want to work here, coach. You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cock-sucker. You can't take this, how can you take the abuse you get on a daily basis from Chicago media. If you don't like it, leave. I can go out there tonight, the materials you got, make myself a playoff contender. Tonight. In two hours.
(looking at Turner)
Parcells: Can you?
(looking at Babich)
Parcells: Can you?
Parcells: Go and do likewise. Always Be Coaching. Get mad you son-of-a-bitch. Get mad. You know what it takes to coach in the NFL?
(whips out his frank and beans)
Parcells: It takes brass balls to coach in the NFL. Go and do likewise, gents. The Lombardi Trophy is out there, you pick it up, it's yours, you don't, I got no sympathy for you. You want to go out tonight and figure out how to coach, coach, it's yours, if not, you're going to be shining my shoes. And you know what you'll be saying. Bunch of losers sitting around in a bar: ''Oh yeah, I used to be a coach. It's a tough racket.''
(makes drinking gesture with his empty hands ... then pulls out a stack of index cards)
Parcells: These are the new draft prospects. These are the 2008 NFL draft prospects. And to you, they're gold. And you don't get them. Why? Because to give them to you is just throwing them away. They're for coaches. I'd wish you good luck, but you wouldn't know what to do with it if you got it.
(To Babich)
Parcells: And to answer your question, pal: Why am I here? I came here because Ted and Jerry asked me to, they asked me for a favor. I said the real favor, follow my advice and fire your fuckin' ass because a loser is a loser.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Da Coach's March Letter to Duh Angelo
Hey numbnuts,
Just wanted to congratulate you on another great offseason. I mean, last season I thought you totally outdid yourself when you let your only offensive weapon go for a bag of magic beans. But this season? You're a front-runner for the INEPT hall of fame and that's saying something with that square-jawed, meathead Millen in the race; and let's not forget the crypt keeper out there in Oakland.
This year, you watched as your team tumbled back to one of the worst offenses in the NFL. And you sprang to IN-action by letting your best receiver go via free agency (you didn't even get beans this time!). Not only that, you systematically refused to sign ANY top free agent despite glaring needs at quarterback, runningback, wide receiver, and offensive line. This could be the first fucking offense in NFL history to post NEGATIVE yard totals for a season. You better teach Brad Maynard how to punt lefty because you can't expect one leg to take that much abuse.
Hell you could have even shaken things up a bit by jettisoning Ron Turner in favor of someone who can spin this pile of shit you created into something that looks like an NFL offense ... but you didn't. I guess you only lose your job in this coaching staff if you take a team to a Super Bowl.
And the quarterback position? Christ on a crutch what a clusterfuck. Congrats on getting anything more valuable than a bag of balls with that Brian Griese trade; yeah, who needs an experienced veteran quarterback anyhow? And when camp opens, your plan is to have an "open competition" between Rex Grossman, Kyle Orton and some camp body to be named later?!? For christ sakes your QB depth chart looks like a washed-up hooker: two useless boobs and one gaping hole. I hope you kept Henry Burris' and Kordell Stewart's cell phone numbers, you may need'em this year.
Finally, your number four overall selection at runningback is now entering his 5th season. Cedric "2 yards and a cloud of Bust" Benson reminds me of a young Rashaan Salaam ... minus the talent, speed, field vision, desire, dedication, and class. How he remains on this team is a mystery to myself, Chicago fans, the coaching staff, teammates, Benson himself, and even his own mother.
In short, you have finally amassed an offensive roster so talent-less, the XFL looks like a superior product. Jump out a fucking window.
Da Coach
Just wanted to congratulate you on another great offseason. I mean, last season I thought you totally outdid yourself when you let your only offensive weapon go for a bag of magic beans. But this season? You're a front-runner for the INEPT hall of fame and that's saying something with that square-jawed, meathead Millen in the race; and let's not forget the crypt keeper out there in Oakland.
This year, you watched as your team tumbled back to one of the worst offenses in the NFL. And you sprang to IN-action by letting your best receiver go via free agency (you didn't even get beans this time!). Not only that, you systematically refused to sign ANY top free agent despite glaring needs at quarterback, runningback, wide receiver, and offensive line. This could be the first fucking offense in NFL history to post NEGATIVE yard totals for a season. You better teach Brad Maynard how to punt lefty because you can't expect one leg to take that much abuse.
Hell you could have even shaken things up a bit by jettisoning Ron Turner in favor of someone who can spin this pile of shit you created into something that looks like an NFL offense ... but you didn't. I guess you only lose your job in this coaching staff if you take a team to a Super Bowl.
And the quarterback position? Christ on a crutch what a clusterfuck. Congrats on getting anything more valuable than a bag of balls with that Brian Griese trade; yeah, who needs an experienced veteran quarterback anyhow? And when camp opens, your plan is to have an "open competition" between Rex Grossman, Kyle Orton and some camp body to be named later?!? For christ sakes your QB depth chart looks like a washed-up hooker: two useless boobs and one gaping hole. I hope you kept Henry Burris' and Kordell Stewart's cell phone numbers, you may need'em this year.
Finally, your number four overall selection at runningback is now entering his 5th season. Cedric "2 yards and a cloud of Bust" Benson reminds me of a young Rashaan Salaam ... minus the talent, speed, field vision, desire, dedication, and class. How he remains on this team is a mystery to myself, Chicago fans, the coaching staff, teammates, Benson himself, and even his own mother.
In short, you have finally amassed an offensive roster so talent-less, the XFL looks like a superior product. Jump out a fucking window.
Da Coach
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