Neckbeard calls Cuntler

NB: Jay? What's going on you fuck suck! It's me, Capt. fucking comeback neckbeard motherfucker!!!
JC: Hey Kyle (sulking) ... Stuff sucks. You see the game?
NB: Oh did I? I kept rubbig my taint on the fucking tv! I used to ass-rape those packer fags, guess you don't have the gun I got. Did you see my td to win it?
JC: Yeah that was really good. Stokley really is a good receiver.
NB: Stokley!? Are you shiatting me? That was capt. neckbeard ... I fucking threw that 25 yard bomb man, I've never seen a pass so pretty! Fucking just like I drew it up ... Let it hang in the air for a good 25-30 seconds and get tipped to the white guy. FUCKING BRILLIANT!!!
JC: Well good call Kyle. Way to go. (cuts himself)
NB: You're damn right. That's the way I roll ... The neckbeard knows how the fuck to win a game. Lull them to sleep with the 5 yared passes and then BOOOMMMM MOTHERFUCKERS here's a 25 yarder! You didn't expect that did ya biatches!!! I can float it like a fucking A & W!!! Ain't nobody but my receivers are expecting the 25 yard hot air balloon!!! (swigs half a bottle of Jack, tongue kisses solid 5 of 10 scale skank)
JC: (takes big scoop of Ben and Jerry's Hubby Hubby)
NB: So ... you're just gonna sit there and eat ice cream and sulk aren't ya?
JC: (swallows hard) no.
NB: Bullshit. C'mon Jay you gotta get with the Neckbeard philosophy. You know what that is?
JC: Um ... drink lots of Jack Daniels and fuck nothing but skanks?
NB: SEE! YOU SEE MOTHERFUCKER!! You WERE listening! Buck up sulker and put down the Ben and Jerry's. Go out fuck a skank. Drink some jack and remember ...
JC: Yeah, yeah I know. Rex Grossman's a cock fuck.
NB: HAHA, you're my boy Jay (chugs rest of Jack, flashes cock to three-toothed 40-year old at end of bar) Talk to ya next week sulk boy!!