The Brett Arrives in Minnesota

(Inside Minnesota locker room present day, Favre walks in)
The Brett: Hey you beagle-fucker?
John David Booty: Um ... me?
TB: Yeah you douche-rific! Get over here!
JDB: Yes Mr. Favre.
TB: You better take off that #4 fucking jersey or I'll be all over you like gay on Brady Quinn. You got me you talentless Leinart cock taster?
JDB: ... But Mr. Favre I really would like to keep this number, but if you ...
TB: Are you giving me lip there John Can't Get Booty? I'm The Brett gol'dammit and I won't be taking any crap from nobody especially some cockgoblin 4th-string QB, younger than the pecker tracks on Deana's favorite John Deere hat. You savvy?
JDB: Yes Mr. Favre. (strips off jersey)
TB: Hey! Mr. Noodle! Get your bald ass in here and quit raping muppets!
Coach Childress: Yes Brett?
TB: It's not Brett. It's THE BRETT ... get that through your chrome dome and get it good. Now, where's MY office at?
Coach: Uhm well, usually the players have the locker room and coaches have an office but I could see ...
TB: Now just wait a minute there Hairlip Wonder, you mean to tell me The Brett has to play for the paltry $12 million you offered and I don't my own gol'damn office? You call upstairs to Zygote or Zagnut of whatever the fuck that kraut wants to be called and telll him the Brett don't fucking work like this, Not for all the land in Mississippi. You got me there Chrome-o-mite?
Coach: Well, gee the Brett I guess you can have my office. Plus I just got these pictures from our first preseason game. You can study them and see our alignments and those of the defenses. That way you'll get up to speed faster.
TB: That would be great you pecker with sideburns but the Brett don't need no fucking pictures. The Brett's a gunslinger. Book learnin' is for fucking faggots like Elicha Manning and his brother Sir-Chokes-A-Lotta-Dick. That ain't for the Brett!
Coach: Well the Brett maybe you could just take a look at them before practice. No pressure.
TB: I like you Coach Crotchless, so I tell you what. You get the boys ready for practice an ol' Brett's gonna head to his office and cdraw ocks in the mouths of all the guys I don't like. Thanks for the pictures ... (The Brett turns to leave but stops) ...
TB: You know what when it's time for practice send that no talent waste of a fuckrag T-Jack-Shit to come down and piggy-back my ass to the field ... No use for the Brett to waste energy in the preseason!