Thursday, April 22, 2010

Broncos draft Tim Tebow in 1st Round

Proving that Josh McDaniels is dumber than owl-shit, the Broncos now have Captain Neckbeard, Brady Quinn and Tim Tebow as their QBs. Tebow who has all the NFL QB skill of that kid Corky from "Life Goes On" is taken in the first-round with Jimmy Clausen still available.
Well at least Quinn will have a partner to go out gay-bashing with while Orton is out banging all the low-quality skanks that Colorado has to offer.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Chicago Bears 2010 Schedule

When Brad Biggs left inside the Bears we knew that someone had big shoes to fill ... so the Sun TImes brought not one but two reporters to fill the void. Unfortunately, upon my return to the site, I have found that neither is a fan of dissenting commentary and monitor the message boards like Home-school moms on their period. Anyway here is Neil Hayes' "insight" into the Bears new schedule. BEWARE: The history of journalism weeps ...

Date Opponent Neil Hayes' comment
My comments

Sept. 12: Lions Loss in opener will have buzzards circling
And if Chicago only wins by 10-points or less everyone will be hitting the panic button as well. Same shiat different day.

Sept. 19: at Cowboys Big Week 2 showdown key early test
Key early test? In week 2? OK explain to me about playing a non-division opponent on the road is "key" to anything especially in week 2 of a 16-week season?

Sept. 27: Packers First Monday Night appearance of season
KEY EARLY TEST. The Packers will be a benchmark to see how the Bears will stack against the division and especially against Aaron Rodgers. Hell they could sleepwalk through week 2 because of the importance of this game. Beat your division, make the playoffs.

Oct. 3: at Giants Second straight prime-time apperance
Meh ...

Oct. 10: at Panthers Homecoming for free-agent prize Peppers
If Peppers is still upright by then it will offer a distracting back story to a game that offers all of the excitement of paint drying.

Oct. 17: Seahawks Pete Carroll hopes it's like playing ND
As a USC fan I approve of this comment ...

Oct. 24: Redskins McNabb comes home in new uniform
Neil, you need to quit having your wife co-write these things.

Oct. 31: bye A midseason break for tricks, treats
Woohoo, I won't be too drunk on beer and disappointment to take the kids out trick-or-treating!

Nov. 7: at Bills Game to be played in Toronto
This is the dumbest farking game on the schedule, eh?

Nov. 14: Vikings Will Brett Favre be back?
Does a bear shiat in the woods? You really think that attention-whore can stay away?

Nov. 18: at Dolphins Thursday night makes for tough turnaround
Yeah this is kinda shiatty. Nice scheduling there NFL.

Nov. 28: Eagles Fourth straight year vs. Bears

Dec. 5: at Lions Detroit could be much improved
After going 2-30 the last two seasons they "could be much improved"? Much improved would be winning 3 games this season. Great insight there. Shall we call it quasi-Peter King-esque?

Dec. 12: Patriots Will Brady vs. Cutler be mismatch?
More importantly will Cutler still be upright after so many games under Mike Martz or will this be the Caleb Hanie show?

Dec. 20: at Vikings Monday Night showdown could be huge
Aliens could also re-claim their ship and fly off with Soldier Field but I doubt it as well.

Dec. 26: Jets Rex Ryan's team should be AFC contender
No arguement from me. And for those of you who read KSK, Rex Ryan is the greatest.coach.EVAR.

Jan. 2: at Packers Could division title boil down to finale?
More than likely it will be a punt,pass and skill competition for the young players on the Bears roster trying to survive the regime change.

Mock Draft 2010

1. STL QB Sam Bradford
2. DET DT Ndamukong Suh
3. TB DT Gerald McCoy
4. WAS OT Russell Okung
5. KC S Eric Berry
6. SEA CB Joe Haden
7. CLE QB Jimmy Clausen
8. OAK OT Bryan Baluga
9. BUF WR Dez Bryant
10. JAC FS Taylor Mays
11. DEN ILB Rolando McClain
12. MIA OLB Brandon Graham
13. SF OT Trent Williams
14. SEA DE Jason Pierre-Paul
15. NYG DE Derrick Morgan
16. TEN DE Everson Griffen
17. SF S Earl Thomas
18. PIT CB Kyle Wilson
19. ATL WR Golden Tate
20. HOU CB Devin McCourty
21. CIN TE Jermaine Gresham
22. NE RB C.J. Spiller
23. GB OT Bruce Campbell
24. PHI OG Mike Iupati
25. BAL DT Dan Williams
26. ARI OLB Jerry Hughes
27. DAL OT Charles Brown
28. SD DT Brian Price
29. NYJ DT Jared Odrick
30. MIN CB Patrick Robinson
31. IND DE Carlos Dunlap
32. NO DT Terrence Cody

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Inappropriate Taggage

Was working on the "looking back" post and was putting together the tags for it. I came accross an existing tag that was stunningly appropriate for the time it was used: "looks like Gaines couldn't play dead" ... I was only half right.

Looking Back: 2007 Chicago Bear Draft

Most experts tell you that it takes 3 years to evaluate a draft. Unforuntately for Jerry Angelo, this draft was easy to evaluate in 2008 but I waited the mandatory 3 years. Here comes the trainwreck:

1 31 Greg Olsen TE - Coming off his most productive season but at best a solid, pass-catching TE
2 62 Dan Bazuin DE - One season in NFL and gone
3 93 Garrett Wolfe RB - 3rd-string RB and special teams player
3 94 Michael Okwo LB - One season in the NFL and gone
4 130 Josh Beekman C - Heir apparent to Olin Kreutz but the jury is still out and will be for some time
5 167 Kevin Payne DB - Starting SS by default, liability in coverage and tackling
5 168 Corey Graham DB - Backup corner though has handled himself well when pressed into duty
7 221 Trumaine McBride DB - Non-factor who was cut after 3 seasons and currently trying to make the Arizona Cardinals
7 241 Aaron Brant G - Cut during first training camp and out of the league

Even with the pick of Olsen who still can't block and is a middle-tier tight end in the NFL, this was a fucking abomination. Usually when I grade something I try to give it a letter grade. So on a scale of A through F, I give this draft ... A BALLOON. Because it's FUCKING RETARDED.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

NFL 2010 Draft Big Board

1 Ndamukong Suh DT Nebraska SR
2 Eric Berry S Tennessee JR
3 Gerald McCoy DT Oklahoma JR
4 Sam Bradford QB Oklahoma JR
5 Russell Okung OT Oklahoma State SR
6 Jimmy Clausen QB Notre Dame JR
7 C.J. Spiller RB Clemson SR
8 Joe Haden CB Florida JR
9 Rolando McClain MLB Alabama JR
10 Jason Pierre-Paul DE South Florida JR
11 Bryan Bulaga OT Iowa JR
12 Derrick Morgan DE Georgia Tech JR
13 Trent Williams OT Oklahoma SR
14 Brandon Graham OLB Michigan SR
15 Everson Griffen DE USC JR
16 Anthony Davis OT Rutgers JR
17 Dez Bryant WR Oklahoma State JR
18 Dan Williams DT Tennessee SR
19 Earl Thomas S Texas SO
20 Taylor Mays FS USC SR
21 Mike Iupati OG Idaho SR
22 Golden Tate WR Notre Dame JR
23 Kyle Wilson CB Boise State SR
24 Bruce Campbell OT Maryland JR
25 Jerry Hughes OLB TCU SR
26 Sergio Kindle OLB Texas SR
27 Brian Price DT UCLA JR
28 Devin McCourty CB Rutgers SR
29 Jared Odrick DT Penn State SR
30 Sean Weatherspoon OLB Missouri SR
31 Arrelious Benn WR Illinois JR
32 Maurkice Pouncey C Florida JR
33 Ryan Mathews RB Fresno State JR
34 Jahvid Best RB California JR
35 Terrence Cody DT Alabama SR
36 Carlos Dunlap DE Florida JR
37 Demaryius Thomas WR Georgia Tech JR
38 Jermaine Gresham TE Oklahoma SR
39 Patrick Robinson CB Florida State SR
40 Charles Brown OT USC SR
41 Ricky Sapp OLB Clemson SR
42 Kareem Jackson CB Alabama JR
43 Colt McCoy QB Texas SR
44 Rodger Saffold OT Indiana SR
45 Daryl Washington MLB TCU SR
46 Damian Williams WR USC JR
47 Chris Cook CB Virginia SR
48 Jonathan Dwyer RB Georgia Tech JR
49 Brandon LaFell WR LSU SR
50 Tim Tebow QB Florida SR
51 Corey Wootton DE Northwestern SR
52 Morgan Burnett FS Georgia Tech JR
53 Jon Asamoah OG Illinois SR
54 Dexter McCluster WR Mississippi SR
55 Aaron Hernandez TE Florida JR
56 Dominique Franks CB Oklahoma JR
57 Brandon Ghee CB Wake Forest SR
58 Nate Allen FS South Florida SR
59 Eric Norwood OLB South Carolina SR
60 Toby Gerhart RB Stanford JR
61 Navorro Bowman OLB Penn State JR
62 Rob Gronkowski TE Arizona JR
63 Jacoby Ford WR Clemson SR
64 Mardy Gilyard WR Cincinnati SR
65 Brandon Spikes MLB Florida SR
66 Jason Worilds DE Virginia Tech JR
67 Tyson Alualu DT California SR
68 Chad Jones S LSU JR
69 Greg Hardy DE Mississippi SR
70 Geno Atkins DT Georgia SR
71 Reshad Jones SS Georgia JR
72 Jimmy Graham TE Miami (FL) SR
73 Lamarr Houston DT Texas SR
74 Sean Lee MLB Penn State SR
75 Arthur Jones DT Syracuse SR
76 Jermaine Cunningham DE Florida SR
77 Jared Veldheer OT Hillsdale College SR
78 Selvish Capers OT West Virginia SR
79 Dorin Dickerson TE Pittsburgh SR
80 Tony Pike QB Cincinnati SR
81 Ben Tate RB Auburn SR
82 Koa Misi OLB Utah SR
83 Taylor Price WR Ohio SR
84 Carlton Mitchell WR South Florida JR
85 Ed Dickson TE Oregon SR
86 Perrish Cox CB Oklahoma State SR
87 Dan LeFevour QB Central Michigan SR
88 Trevard Lindley CB Kentucky SR
89 Mike Johnson OG Alabama SR
90 Montario Hardesty RB Tennessee SR
91 Cam Thomas DT North Carolina SR
92 Thaddeus Gibson OLB Ohio State JR
93 Eric Decker WR Minnesota SR
94 Javier Arenas CB Alabama SR
95 Rennie Curran OLB Georgia JR
96 Donald Butler MLB Washington SR
97 J.D. Walton C Baylor SR
98 Anthony McCoy TE USC SR
99 John Jerry OG Mississippi SR
100 Vladimir Ducasse OT Massachusetts SR
101 Matthew Tennant C Boston College SR
102 Donovan Warren CB Michigan JR
103 Alex Carrington DE Arkansas State SR
104 Willie Young DE North Carolina State SR
105 Kam Chancellor S Virginia Tech SR
106 Dezmon Briscoe WR Kansas JR
107 Major Wright S Florida JR
108 Akwasi Owusu-Ansah CB Indiana of PA SR
109 Amari Spievey CB Iowa JR
110 Jerome Murphy CB South Florida SR
111 Alterraun Verner CB UCLA SR
112 Pat Angerer MLB Iowa SR
113 Syd'Quan Thompson CB California SR
114 T.J. Ward S Oregon SR
115 Charles Scott RB LSU SR
116 Dennis Pitta TE BYU SR
117 Larry Asante S Nebraska SR
118 Tony Moeaki TE Iowa SR
119 Joe McNight RB USC
120 Austen Lane DE Murray State SR
121 Joe McKnight RB USC JR
122 Darrell Stuckey S Kansas SR
123 Torrell Troup DT UCF SR
124 Brandon Lang DE Troy SR
125 Linval Joseph DT East Carolina JR
126 Jeremy Williams WR Tulane SR
127 Myron Lewis CB Vanderbilt SR
128 George Selvie DE South Florida SR
129 Andre Roberts WR The Citadel SR
130 Mike Neal DT Purdue SR
131 Anthony Dixon RB Mississippi State SR
132 Jarrett Brown QB West Virginia SR
133 Garrett Graham TE Wisconsin SR
134 Jevan Snead QB Mississippi JR
135 Ciron Black OT LSU SR
136 Dekoda Watson OLB Florida State SR
137 Adam Ulatoski OT Texas SR
138 Jordan Shipley WR Texas SR
139 Riley Cooper WR Florida SR
140 C.J. Wilson DE East Carolina SR
141 Jason Fox OT Miami (FL) SR
142 A.J. Edds OLB Iowa SR
143 Clay Harbor TE Missouri State SR
144 John Skelton QB Fordham SR
145 Rico McCoy OLB Tennessee SR
146 Jamar Chaney MLB Mississippi State SR
147 Kyle Calloway OT Iowa SR
148 Marcus Easley WR Connecticut SR
149 Jan Jorgensen DE BYU
150 Mitch Petrus OG Arkansas SR
151 Antonio Coleman OLB Auburn SR
152 James Starks RB Buffalo SR
153 Jeff Owens DT Georgia SR
154 Lindsey Witten DE Connecticut SR
155 Zane Beadles OT Utah SR
156 Devin Ross CB Arizona SR
157 D'Anthony Smith DT Louisiana Tech SR
158 Myron Rolle SS Florida State SR
159 Tony Washington OT Abilene Christian
160 Marshall Newhouse OT TCU SR
161 Roddrick Muckelroy OLB Texas SR
162 Emmanuel Sanders WR SMU SR
163 Freddie Barnes WR Bowling Green SR
164 Walter Thurmond CB Oregon SR
165 Brandon Carter OG Texas Tech SR
166 Joique Bell RB Wayne State (Michigan) SR
167 Trindon Holiday RB LSU
168 Naaman Roosevelt WR Buffalo SR
169 Kevin Basped DE Nevada JR
170 Danario Alexander WR Missouri SR
171 Micah Johnson MLB Kentucky SR
172 Rashawn Jackson FB Virginia SR
173 Shay Hodge WR Mississippi SR
174 O'Brien Schofield OLB Wisconsin SR
175 Phillip Dillard ILB Nebraska SR
176 Josh McNeil OL Tennessee
177 Kavell Conner OLB Clemson SR
178 A.J. Wallace DB Penn State
179 Blair White WR Michigan State SR
180 Mike Williams WR Syracuse JR
181 David Gettis WR Baylor SR
182 Shawn Lauvao OG Arizona State SR
183 Justin Cole OLB San Jose State SR
184 Rahim Alem DE LSU SR
185 LeGarrette Blount RB Oregon SR
186 A.J. Jefferson CB Fresno State SR
187 Sergio Render OG Virginia Tech SR
188 Robert Johnson FS Utah SR
189 Dexter Davis OLB Arizona State SR
190 Daniel Te'o-Nesheim DE Washington SR
191 Josh Moore CB Kansas State JR
192 Van Eskridge S East Carolina SR
193 Brian Jackson CB Oklahoma SR
194 Joe Webb WR UAB SR
195 Antonio Brown WR Central Michigan JR
196 Keenan Clayton OLB Oklahoma SR
197 Sam Young OT Notre Dame SR
198 Jonathan Crompton QB Tennessee SR
199 Harry Coleman S LSU SR
200 Nate Byham TE Pittsburgh SR
201 Kevin Thomas CB Southern California
202 Ed Wang OT Virginia Tech SR
203 Terrell Skinner S Maryland SR
204 Clifton Geathers DE South Carolina JR
205 Kerry Meier WR Kansas
206 Donald Jones WR Youngstown State SR
207 Jammie Kirlew DE Indiana SR
208 John Estes C Hawaii SR
209 Brett Swenson K Michigan State SR
210 Tray Blackmon LB Auburn
211 Stephan Virgil CB Virginia Tech SR
212 Chris Robinson LB South Florida
213 Jamar Wall CB Texas Tech SR
214 Vince Oghobaase DT Duke SR
215 Earl Mitchell DT Arizona SR
216 Tim Hiller QB Western Michigan SR
217 Kevin Haslam OT Rutgers SR
218 Armanti Edwards WR Appalachian State SR
219 Eric Olsen C Notre Dame SR
220 Hall Davis DE Louisiana SR
221 Darryl Sharpton MLB Miami (FL) SR
222 Kurt Coleman S Ohio State SR
223 Lonyae Miller RB Fresno State SR
224 Colin Peek TE Alabama SR
225 Ted Larsen C North Carolina State SR
226 John Conner FB Kentucky SR
227 Cameron Sheffield OLB Troy SR
228 Mike Kafka QB Northwestern SR
229 Chris Bell WR Norfolk State JR
230 Shelley Smith OG Colorado State SR
231 Matt Mayberry MLB Indiana SR
232 Arthur Moats OLB James Madison SR
233 Clinton Snyder LB Stanford
234 Brandon Deaderick DT Alabama SR
235 Jordan Lake SS Baylor
236 Brandon Sharpe OLB Texas Tech
237 Sean Canfield QB Oregon State SR
238 Jameson Konz FB Kent State SR
239 Joe Pawelek MLB Baylor SR
240 Jacob Cutrera LB LSU
241 Andre Sexton DB Oklahoma State
242 Chris Marinelli OT Stanford SR
243 Danny Batten DE South Dakota State SR
244 Zac Robinson QB Oklahoma State SR
245 Chris DeGeare OG Wake Forest SR
246 Perry Riley OLB LSU SR
247 C.J. Gable RB USC
248 E.J. Wilson DE North Carolina SR
249 Oderick Turner WR Pittsburgh
250 Deji Karim RB Southern Illinois SR
251 Walter McFadden CB Auburn
252 Travis Ivey DT Maryland SR
253 Terrell Hudgins WR Elon
254 Kyle McCarthy S Notre Dame SR
255 Jeromy Miles S Massachusetts SR
256 Jeff Byers OG USC SR
257 George Johnson DE Rutgers
258 Andrew Quarless TE Penn State SR
259 Andre Anderson RB Tulane SR
260 Nick Polk S Indiana SR
261 Anderson Russell CB Ohio State
262 Chris McCoy OLB Middle Tennessee SR
263 Richard Dickson FB LSU SR
264 Justin Woodall S Alabama SR
265 Seyi Ajirotutu WR Fresno State SR
266 Scott Long WR Louisville SR
267 Chris Hawkins CB LSU SR
268 Sam Shields CB Miami (FL) SR
269 David Pender CB Purdue SR
270 Derek Hardman OT Eastern Kentucky SR
271 Al Woods DT LSU
272 Mike McLaughlin MLB Boston College SR
273 David Reed WR Utah SR
274 Fendi Onobun TE Houston SR
275 Levi Brown QB Troy
276 Zoltan Mesko P Michigan SR
277 Leigh Tiffin K Alabama SR
278 Jeff Linkenbach OT Cincinnati
279 Corey Peters DT Kentucky SR
280 Cordaro Howard OG Georgia Tech SR
281 Michael Hoomanawanui TE Illinois
282 Chris Scott OT Tennessee SR
283 Simoni Lawrence OLB Minnesota
284 Chris Brown RB Oklahoma SR
285 Boris Lee MLB Troy SR
286 Keith Toston RB Oklahoma State SR
287 Travis Goethel ILB Arizona State
288 Chris McGaha WR Arizona State SR
289 Dennis Landolt OT Penn State
290 Chris Carter WR UC Davis SR
291 Brent Bowden P Virginia Tech SR
292 Nolan Carroll CB Maryland
293 Adrian Tracy OLB William & Mary SR
294 Andre Dixon RB Connecticut
295 Ramon Harewood OT Morehouse SR
296 Chris Hall C Texas SR
297 Matt Kopa OT Stanford SR
298 Joe Hawley OG UNLV SR
299 Barry Church S Toledo SR
300 Matt Nichols QB Eastern Washington SR
301 Brandon Banks WR Kansas State SR
302 Drew Davis OT Alabama SR
303 Patrick Stoudamire CB Western Illinois SR
304 James Ruffin DE Northern Iowa SR
305 Shawnbrey McNeal RB SMU JR
306 Jeffrey Fitzgerald DE Kansas State SR
307 Thomas Welch OT Vanderbilt
308 Darian Stewart SS South Carolina
309 Nate Collins DT Virginia SR
310 Jeron Mastrud TE Kansas State SR
311 Nathan Overbay TE Eastern Washington SR
312 Matt Dodge P East Carolina SR
313 Mickey Shuler TE Penn State
314 Alric Arnett WR West Virginia SR
315 Aaron Pettrey K Ohio State
316 Kenny Alfred C Washington State SR
317 John Russell DE Wake Forest SR
318 Stevenson Sylvester OLB Utah SR
319 Robert Vaughn S Connecticut SR
320 Reggie Stephens OG Iowa State SR
321 Clint Gresham LS TCU
322 Kion Wilson ILB South Florida
323 Albert McClellan OLB Marshall SR
324 Mike Tepper OT California SR
325 J'Marcus Webb OT West Texas A&M
326 Andrew Lewis OG Oklahoma State SR
327 Stafon Johnson RB USC SR
328 Kyle Williams WR Arizona State
329 Crezdon Butler CB Clemson
330 Cody Grimm SS Virginia Tech
331 Brian Simmons OG Oklahoma
332 Joseph Turner RB TCU SR
333 Doug Worthington DT Ohio State
334 Mike Caussin TE James Madison SR
335 Dedrick Epps TE Miami (Fla.)
336 Thomas Austin OG Clemson SR
337 Alonzo Durham OT Nevada
338 Verran Tucker WR California SR
339 Ryan Wolfe WR UNLV
340 Carl Ihenacho OLB San Jose State SR
341 R.J. Stanford CB Utah
342 Manase Tonga FB Brigham Young
343 Jay Ross DT East Carolina
344 Sherrick McManis CB Northwestern SR
345 Dorian Brooks OG James Madison SR
346 Reggie Carter ILB UCLA
347 Alex Daniels DE Cincinnati
348 LaMarcus Coker RB Hampton SR
349 Pat Paschall RB North Dakota State
350 Darius Marshall RB Marshall JR